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  1. Just read your article re narcissism and while I am not your target market ( grandmother of adult grandchildren ) I had to write. Your advice reminds me of a great book I read when my children were young “Between Parent and Child ” ( I think I remembered the title correct ) by Haim Ginott . You should give it a read……..very much the same as what you are saying and really good advice from both you and him. He goes into more detail and his advice on teaching children how to make decisions is truly invaluable.

    1. Thanks for your comment! For children, the simplicity of the Golden Rule is much more easily understood. They inherently “get” why it’s good to not take a toy from a playmate because they would not want to have a toy taken from them. Adults may be better to understand thinking of how the other person would want to be treated, but children often are not mature enough to think of anyone but themselves–hence do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

  2. Hi Sarah

    I was interested in your posting “7 ways to nip narcissism in the bud” as I felt I needed to understand this subject for personal reasons. There are many academic arguments over nature vs nurture by psychologist regarding narcissistic behaviour and causation but I agree with you nurture is by far the more relevant.

    I once read a posting on self proclaimed narcissist site Sam Vankin “The ten rules/commandments of dealing with this issue” which dealt with a man whom sorted advice as to how to, as best as one could, deal with the aftermath and give advice to those in the same situation. It was quite soul destroying and at the same time pragmatic.

    The only point I want to say (I could write for a long time on this subject based on my research and experience) is that, I believe after talking to those who are far more knowledgeable than me in this field, that by the age of 8/9 the damage has already been done and unfortunately the undoing statistically is minimal.

    One step at a time Sarah and your article is that start.


  3. Hi Sarah,

    I have not read your books but had a question on parenting. I got your name from the John Rosemond website and you were listed as one of the “parenting coaches” near my area. Anyway, I am trying to discipline my 8 and 9 year old girls using John’s recommendations in his book, The Well Behaved Child. I’m using the 8 day method where the first 4 strikes are warnings and there are no consequenses…the last 4 strikes have consequenses, the last strike being confined to their room. It’s been working but my issue is my girls seem to only do what they are suppose to do when there is a consequens or if I’m around making sure they do it. I’m discouraged. I want them to obey because it’s right not because someone is making them. I’m afraid when they go off to college they’ll just do whatever they feel like…you know the saying “while the cats away, the mice play.” Anyway, am I expecting to much out of them? Am I being too hard? Thank you in advance for you time in answering my question.

    A Discouraged Mama

    1. Don’t be discouraged! We can’t change their hearts–we can only guide them through discipline and love to see that their hearts do need changing. I’ll answer this question more fully next week in my July 16 blog post, but in the meantime, please feel free to email me at if you want to talk about how I could assist you in your parenting.

      Hang in there–you are on the right track!

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