Honesty—The Best Policy?

By Lillian Duncan

Honesty is the best policy, right? So in all honesty, I have to tell you I’m not sure what I was thinking when I signed up to write a post for this blog since I’m not a parent and my writing focus is mostly suspense and mystery.

But I must have had something in mind when I did sign up but the idea is long gone!

However, speaking of honesty: children can be brutally honest, especially at the most inopportune times.

I’m very short, only 4 foot, 8 inches. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been at the grocery store minding my own business when a child will stare at me. Usually one of two things will happen after that. Either they just keep staring, in which case I smile back and give them a little wave or eventually they will say to their mother, “Look at that short lady.”

The mother usually is horrified and so embarrassed.

What can you do to avoid this type of situation? Before I retired, I was a speech therapist to school children and often had to deal with helping children learn the pragmatics of language (pragmatics are about the social use of language).

Here are a few ways you can stop this situation from happening with your own child.

Use the teachable moments. Teachable moments happen often, usually at the worst time possible. Still, as a parent or teacher you need to take the time to teach in the moment.

When your child says something inappropriate, take a moment to tell them why it was the wrong thing to say. And when they say, “But it’s true,” you need to say, “It may be true but there was no reason to hurt someone’s feelings.”

Roleplaying. Dolls and action figures are a great way to help a child learn what is appropriate to say to someone else. You can take turns saying nice and mean things to the doll and exploring how those things might make the doll feel. This helps teach empathy, and that’s a good thing.

Games. I’m a big believer in using games to teach all sorts of skills. Why? Because they’re fun and they work. If you look hard enough, there may even be some commercial games out there that could work. If not, you can always try a teacher store. And last but not least create your own game.

Create a game board, then write mean and nice things on index cards. When your child labels them correctly as mean or nice, they get to roll the dice. You do the same when it’s your turn, but be sure to slip in why it’s mean or nice. First one to the finish line wins!

Yes, honestly is the best policy but it’s also important for your child to learn not every thoughts need to be expressed.

About Lillian Duncan

Lillian Duncan…Stories of faith mingled… with murder & mayhem. Lillian is a multi-published author who lives in the middle of Ohio Amish country with her husband and a menagerie of pets. After more than 30 years working as a speech pathologist for children, she believes in the power of words to transform lives, especially God’s Word.

Lillian writes the types of books she loves to read—fast-paced suspense with a touch of romance that demonstrates God’s love for all of us. To learn more about Lillian, you may visit her at www.lillianduncan.net or www.lillian-duncan.com. She also has a devotional blog at www.PowerUpWithGod.com.

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