Family Tree Treasures

By Susan G Mathis

I’d just put my baby and toddler down for their naps when the phone rang. It was Mom, calling to chat. A few minutes into the conversation, she said, “Today is the anniversary of your dad’s death.”

Since he died three months before I was born, I asked her to tell me more. That day, she shared how he became a Christian just ten hours before he died. For me, this became a treasure in my family tree. One day, I’ll meet my father in heaven, and that will be a glorious day!

From this experience and more, I wrote my debut novel, The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy, loosely based on my family’s story. It’s about an 1850s Irish immigrant and a 21st-century single mom who are connected by faith, family and a quilt.

In most of our family trees, there are beautiful branches of faith, limbs that appear gnarled and confusing, and new growth that struggles for life. But all of the lives in our family tree are precious to the Lord, the creator of life.

Grandma Graham was my dearest companion growing up. Her strong faith in the Lord, her steadfast trust in Him, her constant devotion to serving God and family taught me a lot during the 13 years she was in my life. She laid a firm foundation for helping me know who God is and why we are here on this earth.

My brother Paul struggled to live for the first two years of his life. Seizures attacked him daily, and he was in the hospital more than he was home. It was hard to understand why my baby brother had to struggle so, but today he’s a productive man who loves God and cares for our mother.

In every family tree there are shining lights, confusing lives and heartache. Too often we are so busy that it is hard to dig out the treasures buried deep in the stories of each life. Whether those stories are ones of miscarriage, infant illness, childhood tragedies, or long productive lives, there is a sacredness that every human life carries with them. It may be from a glimpse of a baby on an ultrasound or a struggling life who knew challenges that no one should have to deal with. It may even be self-imposed addictions that ravage a person but he somehow overcomes.

God sees and knows, and our stories are important to Him. We have the opportunity to redeem our story and those in our family tree. We can look at the beauty of each life and see God’s redemption, even in the most broken lives. Digging out these treasures and passing on your family story can heal deep hurts, redeem ugly memories, and change our lives.

About Susan G. Mathis
Susan G Mathis is a versatile writer and author of The Fabric of Hope: An Irish Family Legacy. Susan has two Tyndale nonfiction books, Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage and The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Life of Love and Happiness. She is also the author of two published picture books, Lexie’s Adventure in Kenya: Love is Patient and Princess Madison’s Rainbow Adventure. For more on Susan, visit her website.

A Parent’s Worst Nightmare

By Brenda Cox

My friends just lost their 23-year-old son. He died peacefully in his sleep, but his loss is no less grievous to them and to those who knew him than if the circumstances had been traumatic. We all know it is not the natural order of things for parents to outlive their children. We may believe the death of a young child is somehow more painful a loss than that of an older child, but grief is every bit as intense for his parents because he was their child.

Of course, parents are grateful for the years they had with a young adult child who dies, but his loss is no less an acute once he is gone whether he was 20, 30, 40 and so on. The questions are still the same: Why him? How could God have allowed this to happen? How could we have prevented it? What do we do now? How will we ever get over this?

Friends are often helpless to know what to do. We bring food and clean and send cards, but nothing can alleviate the terrible sense of loss the parents have to navigate their ways through. The heartbreak of a parent’s worst nightmare becomes their “new normal.”

My friend came to church about two and a half weeks after her son died, and when I saw her, I went over to give her a hug and welcome her back. She put her head on my shoulder and cried for what seemed like an eternity – a full body, convulsive cry, and I couldn’t say a word I was so overcome grieving with her. I realized that in that moment, that was all she needed – a shoulder to cry on and my arms around her. Another friend joined us, and she apologized for making a scene. I didn’t think before I spoke, but I said, “You can stand up and wail as loudly as you want, and we’ll be right here with you.”

It seems to me that that is what grieving parents need, to be held, to have their grief in whatever form it takes to be acknowledged and accepted without any judgment or qualifications and for as long as it takes. Everyone grieves differently, but everyone needs patience and understanding through a process that may never truly end. How could you ever “get over” the death of your child? You may come to terms with the fact of the event, and you might not cry as much in front of others as time passes, but part of your heart will always long for him.

As her husband came to sit with her, all I could say in leaving her side was, “You know we love you, and we are here for you.”

I can show that my continuing to send cards, especially at holidays and on significant dates; I can keep the hugs going; I can take her for walks; I can continue to take them meals; and I can invite them to dinner at my house. I can continue to love them knowing they still love their son and will always miss him terribly. And then I hug my thirty-five year old son as tightly as I did when he was ten.

About Brenda Cox
Brenda H. Cox is a life-long English educator at the high school and university levels. She earned a BA at The University of South Carolina, an MAT from The Citadel, and a PhD at The University of Georgia where she served as the Assistant Director of the Freshman English Program. She was affiliated with the National Writing Project site at Clemson University where she led a Writing in the Humanities Institute and is a member of the North Carolina Writers’ Network. She has taught numerous writing workshops and delivered papers at state and national conferences and directed The Young Writers Conference at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro where she was an Assistant Professor of English Education. She has published articles in English leadership and in 18th century rhetoric. In addition, she has served as a writing consultant in numerous school systems in the Southeast and in the American and International Schools in Kuwait. She also served as a Reader of Advanced Placement exams for The College Board, and her students have won numerous local, state, and national awards in writing. Brenda lives in Greensboro, N.C., and is married to Jim Cox.  They have one son and daughter in-law and two perfect grandsons.

3 Ways to Hook Your Kids on Devotions

By JP Robinson

Last week, I told my kids that I’d have to cancel our devotions that evening because a family activity had run later than expected. Their response was typical: a resounding chorus of “oh no’s! and something on the lines of “Pleasssse, can we have devotions tonight?”

I call this response typical, and it is…for us. Perhaps it’s not typical in most homes but I’m blessed to have kids who literally beg me for devotions. This post identifies three ways to help you get my kind of problem—kids who are disappointed when devotions are cancelled!

  1. Show your kids that God is the Best. Thing. Ever.
    Devotions don’t begin when you gather your family together. They are an ongoing expression of commitment to God. Getting your kids “hooked” on Jesus, is something that every parent needs to do 24/7. If we limit our dedication to Jesus to 15 minutes a night, then we send a message to our kids/tweens/teens that God is not the center of our lives.

Remember: your kids won’t buy into devotions if you’re not showing them that you’re “devoted” to God. I love the word devotion. It entails commitment, love and sacrifice. When we show our children that God doesn’t revolve around our lives, but our lives revolve around God, we’re setting the stage to hook their interest in time spent in the Bible.

Think: How can we expect our kids to be excited about God if we parents are too busy to go to midweek service or too tired to read our Bibles every day?

  1. Get creative. No, you don’t need to spend money or do acrobatics in the living room. What I mean is, don’t limit the format of your devotions to simply talking about Scripture.

Remember: Kids of all ages learn best when they’re doing or seeing things. Classic example: I was trying to teach my kids how just a little sin can contaminate their spiritual health. A few drops of purple food coloring in a cup of water produced a lesson that even my youngest remembered weeks later.

Think: You’re competing with school, friends and social media for your child’s time and attention. To be effective, devotions need to be engaging and—to a certain extent—fun.

Try dramatizing a Biblical lesson (no costume needed) or enhancing a biblical discussion with a short movie clip. If all else fails, a quick Google search on “Devotion ideas for busy families” produces almost 4 million results.

  1. Let the kids run the show. This is perhaps the most effective strategy of the three. Too often, parents feel that devotions mean that they talk while the kids sit and absorb the information. As a high school teacher, I can tell you that engaged kids are the ones who really learn.

Remember: If you feel guidelines are necessary, that’s fine! Just keep it loose so they’re free to express their creativity. Not only does this take some pressure off of you, but it also engages your children from the onset.

Think: No matter how old your children, assign them each a devotion night. Let them take ownership and run the show their way.

I hope that these tips place your family on the road to power-packed devotions. Keep up the good work and God bless your efforts to nurture another Christ-loving generation.

About JP Robinson
JP Robinson began writing as a teen for the Times Beacon Records newspaper in New York. He holds a degree in English and is a teacher of French history. JP is known for creating vivid, high-adrenaline plots laced with unexpected twists. Born to praying parents who were told by medical doctors that having children was impossible, JP Robinson’s writes to ignite faith in a living God.

Excuse Me, Your Cell is Showing

By Linda Wood Rondeau

When I recently visited a young relative’s home, three children and two adults sat in the living room with the television on and everyone using their own phones. No one talked with one another. I wondered if anyone paid attention to the television at all since they were busy texting, snapping and sending.

Children seem to have an insatiable desire for technology these days. Cell phones have become the new computer—instantly accessible. Funny they are still called phones because no one seems to really “call” anyone, especially the younger generation. They either send a social media message or text. Social media sites lure users to spend hours of mindless activity, or what seems mindless to other generations.

Nowadays, to take away a child’s cell phone seems to be the worst kind of “grounding” a child can receive.

So how does a parent encourage appropriate use of this device? As in all aspects of parenting, modeling the behavior is still the most powerful teaching tool in the parent’s arsenal. Children live what they see—no matter how much you preach for them to do otherwise.

Here are few things you can do to help shape your child’s phone behavior:

  1. If you feel your child’s time on devices should be limited, limit your time as well. Let your children see you enjoying activities without your smartphone as a constant companion.
  2. Do not use your device while driving unless you have a voice activated or hands-free phone. Pull off the road if you receive a text or call while driving. Explain to your child why you are doing so.
  3. When someone is speaking to you, put your phone down. Do not try to multi-task your human interactions with electronics. Humans are the ones who will suffer.
  4. These days, smartphones are like an appendage. But we can still insist on etiquette where phone use is concerned. The GOLDEN RULE applies to our phone use as it does in every area of life.
  5. When in public, use your device only if in an emergency. Stop when you need to use the device. Don’t walk and talk, especially in a crowded situation like a store or crossing the road. Of course, everyone has a different definition of emergency. But let common sense prevail. Ask yourself if your life will significantly change if you do not use your device at this instant.
  6. Your immediate need to respond sends a subliminal message to your companion that what they say is not as important as whoever just texted you. If you must use your phone, offer a polite explanation to those around you. Find a quiet corner to converse.

Culture is what it is, and each social group has its own ideas of etiquette. Help your children to be observant of those around them and to adapt, putting others needs ahead of their own.

About Linda Wood Rondeau
Award-winning author, Linda Wood Rondeau writes to demonstrate our worst past, surrendered to God becomes our best future. A veteran social worker, Linda now resides in Hagerstown, Md. Her most recent novel is The Fifteenth Article. Readers may visit her web site at www.lindarondeau.com. Contact the author on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google Plus and Goodreads.  

Battling for Your Children Against the Father of Lies

by Connie Almony

I’m not perfect. I’m one of those sinner-types who needs a Savior.

Sooooo … being a Savior-needing sinner, who’s done a few things I’d hate for my kids to repeat, how can I be a good role-model for them?

When I signed up to write a parenting post, a number of ideas came to mind. I’m trained as a counselor and have worked with young people all my life. However, having a well-grounded 16-year-old daughter, I decided to ask her what she appreciated most about my parenting. She answered, “Being real!”

I’ve never hidden from her my flaws, faux paus or the sins of my past. Granted, I haven’t dumped them in her lap at one setting, either. But when she asks, “Have you ever done…?” wondering if I’ve strayed from my own standards, I answer her openly. Some would think this gives her license to call me a hypocrite, since she is not allowed to copy my sins. You know, saying “You did <insert sin>, why can’t I?”

She has yet to do this, because I’ve already given her the answer. It goes like this:

“Because I’ve been to the funerals. I’ve seen the destruction wreaked on those who’ve survived their sin—including myself. I’ve witnessed that which I hadn’t first understood, and now trust the God (and sometimes the parent) who knows more than I do.” In other words, I don’t just bare my brokenness, allowing her to also be aware of her own need of a Savior—I teach her how God loves us best by creating boundaries designed to make our lives fruitful.

It is because she knows I am aware of the power of temptation, and that I don’t judge the people succumbing to it (we often pray for them), and she knows the pressures I faced (and sometimes succeeded against), that she and her friends are open with me. They often come to me after school to describe the toxic choices of some of her fellow students. After these disclosures, we talk (again) about the temptations to do these things (sex, drugs, what-have-you) and the effects of giving-in.

My daughter has been discouraged from stating she will never engage in a particular sin. Why? Because, as I’ve told her, the minute you believe you could never do that sin, satan discovers you are unprepared for the temptation he can throw at you. She didn’t understand.

I said, “Imagine …”—this is where being a fiction author is helpful— “… you are struggling in school, and just as everything seems at its worst, I die. You no longer have me to come to. Your dad is riddled with grief and the stress of caring for you and your autistic brother all by himself. A friend shows you a tiny pill she claims will take your mind off your troubles. What could it hurt? It’s only a teeny pill. And it’s free (for now).”

My daughter’s delayed response was heavy with understanding. “Oh.”

I said, “Yeah. That’s how satan rolls.”

When battling against the father of lies, the best defense is always openness and Truth.

About Connie Almony
Connie Almony is trained as a mental health therapist and likes to mix a little fun with the serious stuff of life. She is a 2012 Genesis semi-finalist for Women’s Fiction and received an Honorable Mention in the Winter 2012 WOW Flash Fiction Contest. Her newest release, Arise from Dark Places, is an edge-of-your-seat inspirational retelling of Sleeping Beauty. Connect with Connie on her website.

 

Why Studying the Past Helps Children, Teens View the Future

By Gail Kittleson

It goes without saying that war changes people. I would add that studying war can change a person, too. I’ve experienced this myself, and shudder to think of the real facts of our historical record being altered or whitewashed for students. How can they ever come to appreciate the common humanity we all share if they’re sheltered from the veracity of history, including the cruelty humankind afflicts on its own?

As an historical fiction author, I focus on the World War II era, where individuals learned about evil by surviving when that maliciousness was unleashed upon them. Those who lived to tell the story longed for justice and peace, and to put the hatred behind them.

One brief example of this transformation is memorialized not far from my Iowa home. Camp Algona, in a town by the same name, was built on farmland to house German troops captured in North Africa and Normandy. The citizens of Algona, as anti-Nazi as any other normal Americans of the time, had no choice but to accept the presence of the enemy in their area.

Thousands of German troops were processed at this main camp, and some were sent to smaller branch camps across the Midwest. But some of the most virulent devotees of Adolph Hitler, including officers from his North Afrika Korps, remained at Camp Algona for an extended time.

The army assigned a commander and guards from various parts of the United States, MPs and others who could not deploy for one reason or another. But a large share of the workers came from civilians, ordinary people from Algona and the surrounding area.

What transpired fascinates me—the prisoners worked in crews to help farmers plant and harvest, make hay and weed their fields. They saved Minnesota’s 1944 pea crop. Because Camp Algona treated the prisoners according to the Geneva Convention, many of them experienced deep gratitude—enough to fashion a three-quarters size nativity scene as a gift to the city of Algona before they were sent back to Europe.

In business interactions, friendships were formed. Some prisoners kept in touch with Iowans after they returned home. A few, facing utter devastation in Germany, worked hard to return to Iowa and start over.

This is just one side-story from a horribly cruel war. And here’s the irony—I grew up about an hour and a half from Algona. A couple of branch camps were about half an hour away from our family farm, but I never heard about the POW camps until the last decade. When I share about Camp Algona with book clubs, most people are not aware of this unique thread from the war here in Iowa.

As parents, we can help our youth learn from history and recognize themselves in stories like Camp Algona. Through research and proactive interaction with our school systems or home school organizations, we can help bring history alive to our children and teens—and bring home the thread of humanity that runs through us all. But one thing is sure, if we sweep the past under the rug, vital lessons about our common humanity will be lost.

About Gail Kittleson
When Gail’s not steeped in World War II research or drafting scenes, she does a limited amount of editing for other authors. She also facilitates writing workshops and classes, both in Iowa and Arizona, where winters find her enjoying the incredibly gorgeous Ponderosa forest under the Mogollon Rim. Favorites: Walking, reading, meeting new people, and hearing from readers who fall in love with her characters. Visit Gail at http://www.gailkittleson.com/ and www.facebook.com/GailKittlesonAut.

Teachable Moments

By Carol Kinsey         

Over the years, my husband and I have looked for teachable moments in parenting. Teachable moments give us an opportunity to drive home an important principle to our children. One memorable teachable moment happened while we were in the process of repairing the electrical switches in our hallway. Halfway through the repair, my husband realized he needed to run to the hardware store. Rather than putting it all back together, he kept the electric circuit turned off, but left the wires exposed.

Our girls were 4 and 6 at the time and even though the fuse was off, we didn’t want them to touch it. We stood beside the light switch, explained the risk of electric shock and told them not to touch it.

Later that day, we noticed the switch had been rotated. Calling both our children to the hallway, we pointed at the wall. “Did one of you touch the light switch?”

After an awkward silence, Autumn spoke up. “It was Breanna. I saw her touch it. I told her not to.”

I’m not sure Breanna remembered if she did or didn’t touch the switch, but she shrugged and said, “Sorry.”

After another lecture on the dangers of an exposed electric outlet, a talk on obedience and a time-out, Breanna’s punishment was served.

Hours later, we got the girls ready for bed and prayed with them.

That’s when Autumn burst into tears. “It was me! I touched the light switch—not Breanna!”

My husband and I listened while she confessed. As parents, we felt terrible. We’d punished Breanna for a crime her sister committed.

In that moment, we had a teaching opportunity.

We reminded our girls that we are all sinners, but Jesus took our punishment by dying on the cross for our sins.

We looked at Breanna. “What you did tonight was kind of like what Jesus did for us. Autumn deserved the time-out because she touched the light switch—but you paid your sister’s penalty.”

Breanna nodded.

“Don’t I get punished?” Autumn asked.

“No, Autumn.” My husband shook his head. “Your sister already took the punishment. Now it’s up to you to accept the gift she gave you.”

We showed them Bible verses that explained how Christ’s death on the cross was the punishment for our sins.

Autumn hugged her sister. She apologized for lying and thanked Breanna for taking her punishment.

Breanna was happy for the hug and let the whole thing go.

Autumn asked God to forgive her for lying and disobeying.

That special teaching moment has stayed with me over the years. Not only was it a great lesson in what Christ did for us, but it was also a special moment in parenting. Parenting is an awesome opportunity to love, teach, nurture, witness and build into the life of another person. In the process, we grow in our own relationship with Christ, learn patience, humility, selflessness and more. What an honor God has given us in allowing us to raise little lives created in His image.

Look for those teachable moments.

About Carol Kinsey
Carol Kinsey lives with her husband and their two daughters on a farm in rural Ohio. She and her husband have been involved in youth ministry for more than 20 years and currently serve at a small country church, which inspired her first published novel, Under the Shadow of a Steeple (2013). She has also published Witness Protection (2017), Greater Love (2015), and Until Proven Innocent (2014), and a writing curriculum, Creative Writing Through Literature, which launched in 2016. Carol has been a member of American Christian Fiction Writers since 2016. Along with her fiction, Carol is also published in several nonfiction venues. She has a passion for writing exciting, Christ-centered fiction that uplifts, encourages, and gives glory to God. For more information, visit carolkinsey.net.

Adjusting to the Arrival of a Second Child

By Stephen W. Hiemstra

After our firstborn arrived, my wife, Maryam, refused to leave her alone with anyone. On rare occasions, I might watch her, but almost no one else. As she drew closer to delivering our second child, Maryam’s attachment to her firstborn became a concern.

The night before the new baby arrived, Maryam had trouble sleeping. She went into irregular labor early in the morning, but her labor did not move towards regular contractions every 10 minutes, as parents are told to expect. We had not taken a child-birth class and did not know how to respond. After having labor pains all night, by five o’clock in the morning I became concerned. We debated calling my sister-in-law to watch our child, but Maryam refused to call. By five-thirty, I called my sister-in-law.

My sister-in-law came over right away. Maryam and I called ahead to Inova Fairfax Hospital, then drove there. On arrival, we checked into the natal unit and we settled in for a long wait, expecting a lengthy delivery as with our first child. However, the doctors examined Maryam briefly, announced that she needed an emergency Cesarean delivery, and whisked us immediately into the delivery room. The delivery went fine and our second child was born—a beautiful baby girl—but Maryam had to stay longer in the hospital than planned.

When our oldest and I arrived at the hospital the next day to visit, she held onto me rather than running immediately to her mother. Maryam was not happy!

In the following months, the family division of labor changed dramatically. Maryam could manage one child by herself, but having two required teamwork. A single child gets a lot of attention that cannot be sustained with two, because one of them always moves around or needs something. When our first arrived, I bought a new 35 mm, single lens reflect camera and filmed her every move, but when our second arrived, we seldom had time to photograph.

Adding to our adjustments, our second child experienced more colic than her sister, which left us tired all the time. No one wants a crying baby around. I remember being told undiplomatically one Sunday morning to move to the back of the church, because our firstborn was making too much noise. Unlike the 1950s, churches today mostly lack a cry room and expect parents either to disappear during worship or to delegate care to someone else, which we never did.

Instead, we learned to cope and adjust, as all new parents do.

This blog post was abstracted and edited from Called Along the Way: A Spiritual Memoir by Stephen Hiemstra. (T2Pneuma Publishers LLC, 2017). Used with permission.

About Stephen W. Hiemstra

Stephen Hiemstra lives in Centreville, Va., with Maryam, his wife of more than 30 years. Together, they have three grown children.

Stephen worked as an economist for 27 years in more than five federal agencies, where he published numerous government studies, magazine articles, and book reviews. He wrote his first book, A Christian Guide to Spirituality in 2014. In 2015, he translated and published a Spanish edition, Una Guía Cristiana a la Espiritualidad. His second book, Life in Tension, focuses on Christian spirituality. This year, he published a memoir, Called Along the Way. Correspond with Stephen at T2Pneuma@gmail.com or follow his blog at http://www.T2Pneuma.net.

 

 

Developing Family Devotions

By Karen Whiting

My daughter Rebecca remarked, “My earliest memories all center around family devotions. They were my favorite times.” Devotions became the heart of our family life. Through the years I realized family devotions provide many hidden benefits.

Devotions build cognitive and communication skills. Reading the Bible enriches vocabulary and builds reading comprehension. Discussions help children think analytically. They learn to share ideas.

Family bonds grow strong with devotions. When we faced the devastation of Hurricane Andrew and $99,000 in damages, my children faced it with courage. We studied Nehemiah as we rebuilt, which covers both rebuilding the wall and the hearts of the people, and that bridged our needs too.

How we actually do devotions and keep going? There’s no set format but generally you’ll share scripture or a passage and discuss it. It’s more fun with hands-on fun added. We used a lot of materials and developed our own. When something didn’t work, we changed direction.

During our children’s elementary years, we included drama, science experiments, games and cooking. The object lesson format worked well. We invested in good materials.

As the children hit teen years, they wanted to dig deeper with adult studies on topics relevant to their lives. We used concordances, a biblical cyclopedic index and other resource materials. We responded to their needs.

What can you do? Here are some tips to make devotions work for your family.

  1. Buy a family devotional, journals and appropriate Bibles for each child.
  2. Be enthusiastic. Make a treasure hunt to let children find the new materials.
  3. Set some ground rules, like no phones or technology during devotions.
  4. Schedule time. Start slow, with 15 minutes twice a week and expand that when your family finds what works well.
  5. Use an incentive if needed. We stated, “Since God’s word is sweeter than honey, we can’t have dessert if we don’t have time for the best sweets.”
  6. Involve your children. Praise children for contributing. Include activities that appeal to each child, such as drama for the outgoing child, maps for the quiet thinker, and hands on fun for the kinesthetic learner. If a child states something incorrectly, don’t scold. Ask them to read the scripture out loud and talk about what it really means.
  7. Bridge time between devotions. So, if you studied Bible people who cooperated, plan a family project that takes cooperation and chat about how you’re doing something related to what you studied.
  8. Capture the memories with some photos or a family spiritual scrapbook. Post the photos in your home to show you value devotions.
  9. When things don’t work, discuss what can be changed or improved.
  10. Remember that children really want their parents to invest time in them and they will respond when you make sure the devotions are positive times and not lectures.
  11. Pray for God’s Holy Spirit to guide you.
  12. Be consistent.

I pray that you’ll find family devotions valuable.

About Karen Whiting
Karen Whiting is an international speaker, former television host and award-winning author of 25 books for women, children, military and families. She’s also a mom of five (including two rocket scientists) and a grandmother. She writes to help families thrive. She has written more than 700 articles for more than 60 publications. Karen writes for Leading Hearts, The Kid’s Ark, a radio network. Awards include the Christian Retailing 2014 Best Award, children’s nonfiction (The One Year My Princess Devotions) and the Military Writer’s Society of America Gold Medal (Stories of Faith and Courage from the Home Front).

Five Minutes at a Time

By Darlene Franklin

How did I rest in God in the constant drama of raising children? Five minutes at a time.

My daughter suffered from borderline personality disorder (BPD). BPD is characterized by pervasive instability—moods, relationships, self-image.

I despaired of finding days I could call good. Hours were easier to come by. Some days, I settled for minutes and relished whatever time God’s love broke through the clouds.

That experience came to mind when I asked a cousin how she had survived the death of her mother and the breakup of her marriage, a month apart.

Her answer? “I don’t know!”  She begged God to bring her husband back, but she knew God never deserted her. “It was a time of waiting and toughing it out, sometimes five minutes at a time.”

Resting in God didn’t mean the absence of difficulties. Both Jan and I tried to tell God how to fix the problem.

What changed was we knew where to take our problems. Only God knew the details of our days. We talked to Him about we wanted, because only He could bring about that miracle.

In the process, we learned something else: we trusted God because He never deserted us.

Intellectually, few of us have a problem with that statement, but experience can seem different. I sat in the balcony of my church, mouthing praise songs I couldn’t sing for tears. In that holy, wordless place, God held me when I fell apart. He carried me through the years following my divorce, my son’s teenage troubles, my daughter’s lifelong troubles, the double whammy of my mother and daughter’s deaths, and more recently, my failing health.

My cousin learned a similar lesson when her teenage son nearly died in a traffic accident. She told the Lord that He could have Macon. Giving her child to Jesus was the hardest thing she had ever done.

Macon lived.

While she waited, she could rest in God because she had learned to tough out the bad times, five minutes at a time.

Now a grandmother in a nursing home, I still have to take life five minutes at a time. And you know what?

God still is, always will be, faithful, for me, for you, and your children—five minutes at a time.

About Darlene Franklin
Best-selling hybrid author Darlene Franklin’s greatest claim to fame is that she writes full-time from a nursing home. Mermaid Song is her 50th unique title! She’s also contributed to more than 20 nonfiction titles. Her column, “The View Through my Door,” appears in five monthly venues. Other recent titles are Christmas Masquerade, Captive Brides, Her Rocky Mountain Highness, and Take Me Home. You can find her online at Website and blog, Facebook and Amazon author page.